Take my word for it and
don't make fun of the sunflowers who
chose to face away from the sun because
it isn't that easy
I'm fighting the sun rays, but
my cornea is getting burned most of
the time and it's really as painful
as it sounds
(Sometimes I tell myself otherwise,
but it's really hard to believe that when
I'm bawling and screaming in the car
on the way home and then do my homework
five minutes after like it's perfectly normal)
I wish that my hands didn't shake
(or have pills shaken into them),
and I wish that I didn't have to choose
colors I won't sweat into, I wish that I didn't
have to dig my nails into my thighs to stop crying,
a
They're gone, but
mornings on the beach are calming still -
with the rush of wind in my hair
and the taste of sea salt on my lips,
I breathe in
and out again
My face is basked by soft sunlight,
the clouds drift by in the blue sky,
and my heart feels so full, but
when my fingertips reach for their hands,
I find that they aren't there anymore and so I
let the emptiness wash over me
as I stumble onward through
the sand
We're growing older day by day
as the waves crash onto the shore and
sometimes we must go in different directions,
different places, different destinations with our
wide eyes bright and looking forward at the sunrise
laid out
I accidentally got a paper cut again,
and I simply looked at the red smeared
across the paper absentmindedly because
my blood is always just as red as the last time I saw it
and it's getting boring
honestly
It's too predictable
So don't ask me how to survive life -
I'm still not quite sure how I'm doing it
or if I'm even surviving at all
All I know is that
if you throw up in the bathroom or suffocate
I'm sure nobody will notice if you just
make sure to wipe the tears off your face
and slap your cheeks so you can
walk out of there with a smile,
always with a smile
You know, we're adults, but we
can't really make our own choices
You thin
These days, I am
busy picking rose thorns
out of my skin
(Why?
Well, some days, you look into the mirror
and think that if you become a rose
you will be safe and loved, until you realize
that's a stupid idea)
I do not have time for
that love anymore
I want to laugh and cry
and be frustrated and tired
when I want to
Being a rose is pretty, but
I am most comfortable in my own skin
They dissected us
until we were nothing but
textbook definitions
They pinned our hearts down,
separating our nerves and bones
on the crumpled pages, reading
and rereading the words and when
we said metaphors, they wrote them down
in their notebooks absentmindedly
"The green light stands for moving forward."
"Blue curtains are a symbol that the
person living in the room is sad."
"If they have lines on their wrists it means
that the people want to die."
Memorize, memorize,
memorize
(And there's the repetition)
But I don't want
to just be a textbook definition
I want these to be more
than just words
I don't know where they went wrong,
bec
You Haven't Changed At All by WindFragments, literature
Literature
You Haven't Changed At All
"You're who? The boy who sat
next to me in high school?"
My voice could hardly be heard
over the yelling of drunk people and
the music pounding in our ears
and my head was beginning to hurt
as the memories rushed back
"You've changed," he yelled,
scanning me up and down while
gesturing to the shot in my hand
and the people hanging off my shoulders
and whining that they need to vomit
I want to throw up too
I wonder if this boy remembers the
hit and run incident in which
he killed my dreams and
left them to rot while I could
only just stand there without
even a sound coming out of my mouth
If he did remember, I don't think
he would dare
3.
Sadness is heavy
like the weight of the sun,
like the gravity of a million stars
pulling you under
It hangs off your shoulders
and holds you down from
looking up at the sky
and so you can't tell
if the sun is really there or not
But even if you could look up,
you wouldn't try
because you're pretty sure the sun
isn't there anymore
2.
One day you look up
and realize the sun is still there,
and it's strange that it shines just
as bright as it did before
like nothing ever happened
You're blue, but
you live anyway
and eat and sleep and laugh
and talk and work and breathe
just as you did before
And sometimes, just sometimes
you remember som
I am not in love
I tape up glow in the dark stars
on my walls and pretend my bedroom
is a universe and that everything
inside it is a little solar system
It's a pretty thought that
one day I could be the thing
that someone revolves around,
but what a scary thought it is
to have someone at the center of
your universe that could disappear
at any second
At times like this, I
really wish the city wasn't so noisy
with fire trucks and 'I love you's'
and drunk yelling
I am not in love
I put my hands over my ears
and press down hard,
but this racing heartbeat still
doesn't go away
I am not in love,
but I dream of making you laugh and
going to
"I love you."
"That's a lie."
He laughed
as I pushed his head away from
the bruises on my neck and said,
"But isn't this what love is?
a way to keep from being lonely
for just a little while."
I could hear a couple arguing loudly
a few of doors down as I slipped
my t-shirt over my head and stumbled
to the door clutching my jacket
A door slammed shut in the hallway
as an angry woman stomped past
and as I was closing the door,
I clearly heard him mumble something
from the bed sheets
"If you're waiting for a fairy tale,
you'll be waiting for the rest of your life."